"Many Americans reaffirmed their faith this year.... I didn't, because I have no faith.  ...when I was a kid, my parents on my first Hanukkah gave me a top to play with. They call it a dreidel, but I know a top when I see one. And as I looked down at what is truly the dumbest toy ever created in the history of civilization, I thought, you know, I'm not gonna be Jewish for long."