An 18-year-old man testified yesterday in Forsyth Superior Court that he regularly had sex with his pastor over a three-year period, from when he was 15 to 17.

The man is the first of two people expected to testify this week that they had sex with Rodney Keith Boothe, 40, a former pastor at Greater Church of Deliverance on North Cherry Street, which also is known as Christ Cathedral Church of Deliverance. Boothe faces 42 sex-related charges.

The second person expected to testify is a 15-year-old boy whose family took in Boothe's family for a week in 2006 when the Boothes were kicked out of their home for not paying rent. The 15-year-old is expected to testify that the sex acts happened when he was 13 and 14.

The 18-year-old first met Boothe at a church in Wilmington, where the boy was living with a family member.

He moved in 2005 to Virginia, where he stayed with his grandmother. By then, Boothe had moved to the church in Winston-Salem and agreed to take him in. The boy was 15 at the time.

He said that at first he did not want Boothe to touch him.

"I didn't like it, but I just thought that if I kept on going it would stop," he said.

He said he later fell in love with Boothe. He would ask Boothe whether they were a couple. Boothe had a wife, two daughters and a son.

"When he said no, that kind of hurt because I felt in that situation that I was just being used for sex," the 18-year-old said.

The 42 charges that Boothe faces are: 12 counts of statutory sex offense with a child who is 13, 14 or 15; one count of attempted statutory sex offense; 14 counts of sexual activity by a substitute parent; one count of second-degree sexual exploitation of a minor; 10 counts of indecent liberties with a child; and four counts of third-degree sexual exploitation of a minor.

The 18-year-old said that many of the sexual conversations he had with Boothe were through cell-phone text messages. An aunt called Winston-Salem police after reading the text messages stored in the boy's phone. Boothe was arrested and has been in jail since June, 2007.

Prosecutors Kia Chavious and Pansy Glanton showed jurors those sexually explicit text messages yesterday, along with lewd picture messages that prosecutors say they believe that the two men exchanged.

When questioned by Paul James, who is Boothe's attorney, the 18-year-old said he agreed to stay with Boothe even though Boothe had touched him during a visit.

The trial is expected to continue into next week.

STORY LINK

Related link: Preacher arrested

By Neal

I recall many years ago about a family in the church I was attending had lost their child. He wandered off and was found face down in the mud.

I recall listening in on the conversation with one of the church leaders and the pastor. I then heard the one comment I can't stand to this day — "Only God Knows..."

What? Really? Huh? So why isn't he telling then?

Does not the Bible say that if we ask we shall receive? Does not Jesus tell us we will receive wisdom and understanding just for the asking? Doesn't the Holy Spirit live in Christians and guide them and provide them wisdom?

So why is it after 2,000 years of Christianity and all the millions who have studied it and that in this "enlightened" age, this is still an answer to most tough questions?

What really baffles me is that many church leaders, prophets and other supposed "spirit filled" religious leaders will make some prediction about the end times or make some other prophecy and end up totally wrong. And when you ask why? You get "Well, only God knows."

Sorry I don't buy that. If a person is filled with the spirit of God or the Holy Spirit then their prophecies and predictions would come from God. So either they are not filled with the spirit as they claim or God is totally wrong and doesn't know his own stuff.

Perhaps our religious leaders are just to lazy to really dig for answers?

Well, I guess only God knows...

By Mc Pickard

Now that you've gone to service, said your prayers and gave God a few Franklins - it's time for a sermon from the other side of the aisle.


The other day, I was at the K-Mart in Oconomowoc, on a little visual research expedition. As I was strolling through the book section, How to Hear from God: Learn His Voice and Make Right Decisions by that church lady from the 700 Club caught my attention. I quickly scanned the back. The book promises to teach you how to hear God's voice in every daily action so you can do "His Divine Will." All for $19.31!

For whatever reason, this goofiness interests me. I did a quick Google and this subject is almost a genre unto itself.

The believer is duped into thinking that a non-stop circle jerk of sanctimonious, self-affirming, ego-stroking is somehow a Bat-Phone to God. This site not only features a downloadable lecture, but "4 Main Keys" to secure direct communication with God. This belief is predicated on one of the later prophets in the book of Habakkuk. A lesser known book of the OT, yet it does contain plenty of violence of that capricious blood thirsty God we've come to love and adore. The Wiki entry states that this book is "The starting point of the concept of faith" which later NT writers grounded their emotional rhetoric and appeals of faith against the Greek tradition of materialist based reason. Paul for example.

As an aside, I did this drawing to illustrate the relationship between my own inner voice, Satan, and God. I measured the decibel levels of each.



What did you expect? Data? Verification?

Anyway, the author states that after praying, fasting, studying the Bible for one year, his previous roadblock of not hearing God's voice had been removed. He claims that "God set me aside" on this year long exercise. If your paying attention, this was before he could not hear Gods voice. Yet, somehow this born-again, Bible-believing Christian receives a directive to do so?

Unfortunately, the author gives no concrete way to confirm that in fact the voices in your head are not yours. Also, he gives no qualitative way to distinguish if the voice in your head is Satan and not God. You think that would be important, the Devil is known to be a trickster. Each step is self-brainwashing. In Key #4 you are to journal, but to "write in faith for long periods of time" and before you do, you should have adequately "submitted to solid, spiritual leadership." The shorthand, if you already believe, you already believe.

Books like this merely reaffirm the self-delusion that one can have a personal relationship with an immaterial, invisible entity that resides somewhere out there and beyond human comprehension. The believer is duped into thinking that a non-stop circle jerk of sanctimonious, self-affirming, ego-stroking is somehow a Bat Phone to God – piece-mailing advice at every trivial decision.

This variety of religious instruction does have consequences. From mothers who drown their children, to anti-abortionists who murder doctors and bomb clinics - we find that God has also a penchant for violence when he's not busy deciding plaids or stripes.

In my deconversion, hearing God's voice was an issue. I never heard God, only the familiar intonation of my own inner-voice. I never wanted to pretend or lie that this was anything but the case. In discussion with my Christian friends, they tell me they do, in fact, hear God's voice.

I have to stop and question the sanity of my friends. Can I blame them? They are victims. We have a history and a society of these flim-flammers, speaking from alleged authority, that this self-induced schizophrenia is real and not imaginary.

Sent in by Brian

I was raised in a very Christian home, and went to church my whole life. I never had a reason to believe otherwise - there is a God, he is all powerful, and you DO NOT question it. I can remember a few times kind of wondering "Is this for real?", and then praying for some kind of sign - which of course I never got. After I did not receive confirmation of his existence, I immediately prayed and asked for forgiveness for my lack of faith. Who was I to question God?

When you start thinking about the whole question in a logical manner, it is very hard to remain faithful. There are simply too many facts against religion.Well at the age of 24, I started listening to some very intelligent people. I would debate with them about the existence of God, but the entire time, I would feel like I was losing the debate. I would throw out fake "Facts" to back up the existence of God, and bring up faith.. They would be visibly frustrated by my lack of understanding.

Little did they know, but they were chipping away just a little of my Christian foundation with every debate. They made a lot of sense. I would leave questioning things, and feeling a lot of doubt.

This is when I decided to seek the truth. I decided that I would invest in books on both sides of the argument. I would read a book on evolution, and then read a book by a creationist. I would read a book by Dawkins, and then read a "Scientific proof of God" book. I did this for months.

I quickly started to realize that the atheist books were full of factual scientific data, and the theist books were full of "faith" and "magic". I have a very logic-oriented brain, so faith and magic just don't hold up. The Christian books quickly turned in to comedy. As I was reading, I would have to stop and read aloud the particularly absurd passages to my wife. She would laugh at them as well (even though she was still holding on to her Catholic beliefs at the time). Needless to say, I quickly became an atheist. After hours of discussion on the subject, my wife followed shortly thereafter.

When you start thinking about the whole question in a logical manner, it is very hard to remain faithful. There are simply too many facts against religion.

I can understand where religion came from. Our ancestors looked around our world in amazement, and could not understand ANYTHING. They had no idea what that huge ball of fire in the sky was, they had no idea what made plants grow, and water falling from the sky was a "miracle". They had to explain it somehow, so our ancestors created gods. Each civilization created their own gods, and thought the other civilizations were crazy heathens. Sound familiar?

Since your religion is based SOLELY on the bible, doesn't this make you question your own beliefs? Well now that we understand our universe, there is no longer a need for religion. We KNOW what the sun is, we understand the life cycle of plants, we know what causes rain, etc. The things that were previously classified as miracles now have scientific explanations. So why hold on to religion?

If you are a Christian, ask yourself these questions:

- Is the Bible the word of God?
- If it is the word of God, would it not be "perfect"?
- If it is perfect, every part of it should be correct, right?

If you answered yes to all of these questions, read on. If you answered no, then you are already slipping down the slope to atheism, but read on anyways.

So if the bible is infallible, how do you explain the following biblical "mistakes":

- According to the bible, the world was covered by a great flood, which killed all living creatures. Noah took 2 of each animal on to a ship, rode out the storm, and then dropped them of in the middle east.

If this is true, how to you explain life on Australia (since it was never connected to the rest of the land masses)? How did the animals make it from the middle east to Australia? Did they swim across the ocean? How can you explain the unique animals that only exist in Australia (Evolution took different paths on this segregated land mass)?How do you explain the fact that there is not geological proof of such a massive flood (which would be very obvious to archaeologists). And to point out the most ridiculous part of this story - there are millions of species of animals. How did Noah fit all of those on to a single boat, and keep them from killing each other?

- According to the bible, the universe revolves around the sun.

Do you think this is true?

- According to the bible, the earth is only a few thousand years old.

How can you explain the overwhelming evidence of millions of years of existence? How can you explain dinosaurs?

- According to the bible, god created man and woman and all of the animals.

How do you explain finding the bones of our ancestors which show the evolution of humans? If God created man and woman in his image, wouldn't all of our ancestors look exactly like us?? Why are all animals and humans still changing and evolving? How do you explain absolute PROOF of microevolution?

- The bible condones slavery, misogyny, ritualistic sacrifice, and human atrocities.

Was this written by a loving God, or mortal men?

- The bible refers to the earth as flat, and a non-moving entity.

Do YOU think the earth is flat, and that the universe revolves around it?

- The bible describes the hydrological cycle in terms of magic and fountains from heaven - showing a clear lack of knowledge of where rain, snow and hail originate.

Do you think that rain comes from a fountain from heaven?

- The bible is full of mathematical inaccuracies.

Don't you think God could figure out Pi, handle basic addition, and measure properly?

- The bible makes numerous prophetical statements that never came true.

Again, is this written by an infallible God, or a mortal man?

- EVERY major story in the Christian Bible can be traced back to earlier pagan religions. Stories such as: Born in a manger, virgin birth, born under the north star, visited by kings, brought 3 gifts, water in to wine, fish and bread to feed thousands, crucified on a cross, rose again after 3 days, etc, etc, etc - these can all be linked to religions that existed LONG before Christianity. Just look up Mithras for a quick comparison.

So, if you acknowledge that the above references show biblical inaccuracies, then you are admitting that the bible is not "perfect". Therefore it cannot be the word of God. Since your religion is based SOLELY on the bible, doesn't this make you question your own beliefs?

You have two paths that you can take here:

1. Open your mind, and find out for yourself what you REALLY believe (not what you were told to believe).

- OR -

2. Be a good Christian and close your eyes, stick your fingers in your ears, and sing "Jesus loves me" as loud as you can.


If you choose path number 1, congratulations! In your search of truth, please try to disregard magic, faith, mysterious ways, and the like. Use your logical brain! Trust me, it is better on this side. It is like a huge blanket of guilt and dread is lifted off of your shoulders.

If you chose path #2, enjoy your life of ignorant bliss.

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not all-powerful.

Is he able to prevent evil, but not willing?
Then he is malicious.

Is he both able and willing?
Then why is there evil?

Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him God?

Sent in by Awlheart

I was always a very religious person. I was born into a Sicilian-Catholic family. I went to Catholic school and was the kid that always had questions on religion because so much of it didn't make sense. But I was brainwashed very well and bought into it 100%.

Then the teen years hit. I met this wonderful Southern Baptist boy at 15. He brought me to his church. I loved it, but now more questions came up. How come his church puts down what my church believes in? Why do we have different beliefs? So I begin bible study with a friend who is Evangelical Christian. She teaches me so much and shows me all the great things God does and all the things I need to do to go to heaven. All these years of being a Catholic I thought I was going to heaven if I was good, then I learn it has nothing to do with being good, it has to do with saying a prayer that I swear to believe in Jesus as my savior.

So I head on down to my Catholic Church with bible in hand and full of knowledge of the bible. I talk to a priest at my church. I show him all this evidence, and ask tons of questions on why are these beliefs so different. I want to go to heaven, not hell, and I had to be sure I was making the right choice. After all I have to say to this priest he just has one thing to tell me, "If you believe in the bible, you can't be a Catholic. It's a choice you have to make." A choice I have to make?!?!?! Isn't there someone who can tell me "THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH." (There were tons of different denominations that told me they were the true believers as I set on my path to find the right church.)

I became Southern Baptist till I later found out after being married to a Calvary Chapel Christian that having a denomination is a bad thing, that those are religions, not God! So I end up in a non-denominational church. Whew! I was safe now! I'm for sure going to heaven! Unfortunately my parents acted as though I was this criminal who sold my soul to, well, I'm not sure what they thought but they acted like I was a triator. Of course the people in the church told me that sometimes becoming a true Christian means sacrifices like losing one's family. Well, I didn't lose them, but they were hurt which really didn't feel good to me. But I was learning what God wanted and he was my father too!!! Which father do I listen to?!?!? Ugh!!! The bible is clear that both fathers are important, but the god the father rules over my father so he is the one I should please.

From Calvary Chapel to Harvest. You know Harvest? It's Greg Laurie's Church. He's the Calvary Chapel run-away because he had better ideas I guess. All was going great. I broght my daughter safely in the right church. Oh, don't get me wrong, she was baptized Catholic because I had to please my parents and I had to be sure she was safely going to heaven no matter who was right or wrong.

Then one day something happened to me. I was now 28. Big trouble ahead. I realized I'm a lesbian. That's another story in itself! But it took me 10 years to come out as a lesbian due to my fear of the lord, losing my family and going to hell.

Now my relationship with God gets weird. How can I love a woman when God doesn't want me to love a woman? How can I stay in a marriage and cause my husband to suffer when I was unable to have sex with him. It literally made me sick to my stomach! God insisted that I submit to my husband, but submitting made me ill! So he suffered too. I ended up divorced of course.

Harvest was too Evangelical for me and I left the church. Oh, I was still a very strong Christian, but now I conveniently realized the bible was just being interpreted wrong because it doesn't talk about loving lesbian relationships, only about sex. So I chose to believe that God loved lesbians and I can be a Christian and a lesbian. After all, if God is a loving god, what is wrong with love?

At this point in life I was with a woman who is very Pagan oriented. Pagan? Wait, I heard of them in the bible! Weren't they the bad people? That's a religion?!?! You mean I left one out?!?! So into Wicca classes I go. Oh my f*cking god, this is like Catholic Church only with tons of gods AND goddesses! It was at this point my mind said, something is just way wrong here. People make up this crap! ALL OF IT! There is no god or goddess! There is us, humans, and the earth.

My personal studies turned to where religions come from. I learned it's all made up. It's all stories told so many times from thousands of years before a so-called savior called Jesus. These are all the same stories with different names. Religions evolved from ideas!!! Everyone conveniently made them fit their own lives. I went through a lot of heartaches losing my god. I felt very alone for a while. Mainly because after having the thought that someone was always with me, always listening to me, no matter what the world had in store for me, I thought he was there. Now I had no one but me when things went bad. It was scary! I lost my imaginary friend I called Jesus!!!

BUT, guess what!?! I found ME! I was "born again" into knowing that I have control over me and my life and no one else does. Not any god and not any human. I had this new saying I love, "If it's going to be, it's up to me!" I found out I am a god and goddess. I am able to help others, save others and do good in this world. I get to make decisions by using my very own conscience. I get to be proud of the good I do and know I did it because I chose to do it.

My mission in life is to help wake up everyone to the dangers of theocracy and how it enslaves them. I think just about everyone who knows me knows I'm a Lesbian and an Atheist and I'm very proud of me! It was a long ride but I made it here safely! Thank me!

I was Born from a human, became a Born Again Christian, "Came out" as a lesbian then as an Atheist and now I'm Born Again Me!

By Astreja

As much as I enjoy the dialogue at Ex-Christian.net, I've noticed something that's a bit worrisome. I have become a BibleBotherer-Seeking Missile with an extremely short fuse.

My own experiences with Christianity are somewhat milder than the norm. Although nominally a liberal Protestant in childhood, I didn't get the fear of Hell beat into me by parental units, teachers, friends or neighbours. I didn't invest decades of precious life time in the Christian cult, although I did later deconvert from another belief system and can identify with the pain of going from belief to non-belief.

So what's with the intense, blood-boiling fury that I've been feeling lately?

One possible explanation: Uninvited proselytizing and evangelizing is abuse, psychological torment, and what I'm feeling is natural -- Counter-aggression in the face of a perceived attack.

At this point, I would expect one of our Christian visitors to say "Attack? But we're only trying to heeeelp..."

This is the usual rationale for invading our space. But let's take a closer look at the nature of this so-called help, using recent examples from Ex-C itself:

"Why do you have so many hatreds in your life? Why are there so many broken relationships in your life? Why won't you accept reconciliation with certain people in your life?"

"There is nothing that I can say or do to convince you that Jesus died on the cross for you..."

"A so-called Atheist reading the Bible is like a english-only literate person reading chinese."

"Mother, father sister, brother, freind, spouse they will all forsake you. God is the only one who truly loves and adores you."

"It is truely sad when I see the lack of truth in some of these comments."

"Friends eternity is forever, and much too long to be wrong."

"Sorry your feelings were hurt. Hope you can explain it on judgement day."

"As long as you and the others continue to do what you know is wrong, you prove that the world would be a better place without you."

"Well fuck you all, God loves you and he will forgive and take care of every last one of you for ever and ever, wether you like it or not... and if you dumb stupid apes are tou blind and stupid to see this, then I don't know how to help any of you."

Do you see what's going on here, folks?

• Unfounded accusations, usually accompanied by mind-reading
  
• Guilt trips
  
• Insults
  
• Attempts to cause us to doubt the fidelity of the real people we know and love
  
• Unwarranted criticisms
  
• Threats
  
• And completely off-the-wall rants.

These are all manifestations of emotional abuse and are perceived as attacks upon one's person. Our visitors' evangelizing is triggering the adrenaline rush of a fight-or-flight reaction.

(cracks knuckles) And they wonder why I'm not glad to see them...

Sent in by Brian

My story of leaving Christianity is a little different than most I’ve heard or read. The focus of my story is how much I regret now, looking back on my life, that would have been different had I not been a Christian.

Starting from the beginning: I wasn’t raised in a Christian home. My parents never really went to church, except occasionally on holidays my mom might take me to a church. The first time I ever attended a Catholic mass, I was with one of my mom’s friends. I turned to her about half-way through the mass and asked, “Who is getting married?” My parents had been brought up Christian, but they never really forced anything on me.

I made friends with Christians at my elementary school. One of them invited me to attend some Bible camp. I think it was during the summer after first grade. I had no idea what it was, but I went. It was pretty fun, we got to do crafts and play games. I think it was three days long, but I only went on the last day. I remember that there was also a chapel service at the end where the preacher asked, “Have any of you not accepted Jesus?” I of course had not, so I raised my hand and went to the altar, along with a few other kids. We all said the sinner’s prayer and asked Jesus into our hearts. My mom was there with me, and I think she was happy that I had made a decision about religion on my own, without her pressuring me into it.

After that, I didn’t think too much about religion, since the preacher had said we were now saved. I thought that was pretty much the end of it, and I had better things to do. Besides, I was seven or so, and my parents didn’t attend church. As I learned how to read better, I began to read a Bible that my grandmother (who is extremely religious) had given to me. For some reason, I absolutely believed that every word in that book was God’s word, handed down to the men who penned it. I’m not sure how I came to that conclusion, but I do remember at one point asking my mom, “Was Jesus real?” And she said yes, there were historical records of him. Then I asked if he had been resurrected. She said, “Oh yeah, he walked around and talked to people!” That was probably enough for me at that age. That aligned with the book, so it must be accurate, right?

I had met one of my closest friends in second grade. Into middle school, he asked me to spend the night several weekends, and would always say, “Oh, and we can all go to church on Sunday!” I never really understood why he would say that. I thought, however, that church was more of a family thing, and I didn’t want to intrude on his family, so I would always ask to be taken home. Of course, he was actually sincere in wanting me to get into church; he just never really told me that. Anyway, this same friend asked me to attend a summer vacation Bible school, I think the summer after seventh grade. I went, because he had described it as a place to go and hang out with people our age, to go swimming and play sports and just hang out. I decided sure, it’s a great chance to hang out with my friend.

I quickly realized that I was very different from most of the other kids at VBS. I was listening, at the time, to what I later learned was known as “secular music.” I would try talking to other people about popular artists at the time, and most of them didn’t know what I was talking about (or, more likely, were scared to death to admit that they did). I had also expected that camp would be a place for us to just sort of pick our activities and do what we wanted within the confines of the space provided. Instead, the schedule was tightly controlled. There were three chapel services per day, and in between, it was sports for the boys, and crafts (I think) for the girls. There was only maybe an hour per day of individual time, just before lights out, at which point we were required to be in our rooms. It wasn’t what I expected, but it wasn’t so bad. But the environment produced an atmosphere where, even if one were inclined to question the teachings at the chapel services, one couldn’t because there was absolutely no time to sit back and reflect on it. Instead it was off to play sports, so the teachings became ingrained.

At the end of the summer, my friend asked me once again to attend church with him. I no longer saw church as a family activity, so I agreed. At the end of the service, his pastor asked whether anyone was uncertain about whether they were going to heaven. I raised my hand and, again, confessed Jesus as my lord. I felt relieved at the time, though not much really changed.

I then began to read my Bible more carefully. I decided to read it cover to cover. I started, of course, with Genesis, but got bored around the “begats.” So I skipped ahead. The first odd thing I came to after that was Genesis 17:10–11, “This is my covenant, which ye shall keep, between me and you and thy seed after thee; every man child among you shall be circumcised. And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of the covenant betwixt me and you.” Now, sorry to be so personal, but I was never circumcised. So this scared the hell out of me. But somehow, fortunately, I got the idea to research circumcision in the New Testament, which clarified that it was not something that was required for a gentile like me. Thus I didn’t go find a doctor and endure that mutilation, though I just might have had the New Testament not made that strange contradiction.

I also read Exodus 22:16, which says, “And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife.” At this time, I knew what sex was, and for some reason, this command stuck with me. I had been taught at this camp, or somewhere, that sex before marriage was wrong. But now, at least I thought I had an out—just marry her! Around this time, or maybe a little later, I was actually taught by my parents that it would be okay for me to have sex, so long as I was safe about it. It was around this time that I decided I knew more about Christianity than my parents did, because I knew what the Bible said and they were teaching me contrary to it. I naively believed that they, therefore, had no idea what they were talking about and that I knew how to live life much better than them. If only I had listened to my parents (as the Bible actually commanded me to do—Eph. 6:1).

I had never had a girlfriend before, but in eighth grade, there were two girls I was very interested in. One of them was extremely interested in me and let it be known, the other was also, but she didn’t let on nearly as much. I was shy and extremely afraid of rejection. So although I wanted the one who played hard-to-get more, I asked the other one to be my girlfriend, because she was a sure thing. Of course she said yes, and we started dating. For a long, long time. Now, at VBS, I had made a commitment to remain a virgin until I was married. This girl had other things in mind and put a lot of pressure on me to have sex. I thought that I was in love with her, so I didn’t leave her. I had also learned the Christian virtue of forgiveness, so any time she did something to hurt me (such as kissing another guy, which she did frequently), I thought it was my obligation to forgive her and go on with our relationship. Eventually, I thought that if I had sex with her, that she would stop messing with other guys and would focus on me. And remember my learning of Exodus 22—it wasn’t technically wrong, as long as I married her (in my head). So one night we had sex, and I committed to marrying her, and even told her that. Now I was truly committed to her and our relationship because that was the only way, I believed, I could avoid being sinful. So of course I was even more obligated to forgive her for things she did that wronged me.

I don’t want to bash this girl, because that’s not my intent in this writing. I describe this relationship only to show how committed I was to this strange ideal taught by the Bible. Anyway, she was an absolute bitch to me. She kissed other guys, as I said. She was into experimenting with drugs, which of course I was absolutely against. She did things to psychologically torture me for her own amusement. She would ask strange, awkward questions to, in her words, “see what I would say.” Before we slept together, she asked one of my best friends if he would sleep with her. He told me, but I believed, for whatever reason, that he was making it up and that the girl I “loved” would never do such a thing to me. She also told me once that she wanted to be pregnant at 16, and that she wanted me to be the father. When I asked her why, she said, “Just to piss off my parents.” I certainly didn’t want a kid at that time, so I eased off the sex. That just made the torment from her worse. But of course I couldn’t leave her, that would be sinful, so I stayed. Until, eventually, I decided that even if I was a sinner, I couldn’t take this any more. I read that I was forgiven of my sins, so I broke up with her. That was after almost three years. The kicker is, the other girl I was interested in, I learned throughout that time that she was interested in me. AND she even encouraged me to break up with her to be with her. Had I not believed fully and entirely in this strange command from the Bible, I would not suffer as much regret as I do to this day, because I would have immediately ended the relationship with the weird girl and been with a girl who actually liked me. (I was inspired to tell this story from the XKCD comic titled “Regrets”, No. 458, http://xkcd.com/458).

Fast forward to my senior year of high school. I still believed that the Bible was the absolute word of God. I still wasn’t attending any regular church service. By this time, I had also become “filled with the Spirit” and was speaking in tongues, because I had attended a weekend Bible course that taught me about charismatic stuff. I didn’t believe that most of the churches I tried were “of God” since most churches I went to didn’t believe in the charismatic stuff. One day I prayed that God would show me a church that he wanted me to attend. Soon afterwards, I volunteered at a money drive for a Christian radio station I listened to. There, I met a guy who invited me to attend his church, which was very close to where I lived. Prayer answered, right? And of course, I went to visit the church, which was non-denominational, full gospel, word of faith, charismatic, evangelical, fundamentalist… whatever label you want to attach to it. It was one of *those* churches. And I bought into it fully and whole-heartedly. I went every Sunday to learn more about it. I soaked up their teachings like a sponge, because this church was obviously alive. People would run around during church service, speak in tongues, the whole bit (fortunately no snake passing, people who did that were “misguided”).

I began attending this church right around the time I was deciding on where to go for college. That I had found such a “good” church heavily influenced this decision—I chose the college near my hometown so I could continue attending this church, despite having been accepted to other, better colleges. One of the church’s teachings was on sowing and reaping, that if you give it will be given unto you 100 fold. Well, I gave all the time, and my parents paid for my college in full. Rather than giving credit to my parents for working hard and saving up for my education my entire life, I thanked God for giving me this “blessing.” Sorry, Mom and Dad, you deserved all the credit.

I spent every weekend during college back at home so that I could attend church. EVERY weekend, all through college, I was there. I went to school to be an engineer. I had dreams of participating in all sorts of engineering activities before beginning with the church. One, for example, was the DARPA autonomous vehicle challenge (think cars that are able to drive themselves, no remote control). I thought that would be awesome. Another was the solar car project. Geeky, I know, but it sounded awesome to me, and it would’ve been great experience. But, as a good Christian, I decided that none of that was important. I didn’t need experience, because God would direct the hearts of men and give me a job or whatever I needed because I tithed, I gave, and I did what he told me to do. Just a few weeks ago, I was watching Discovery or something, and saw the finals of the DARPA challenge from this most recent year, and just broke down upon realizing that I never even tried to participate in it.

I finally left the church to attend graduate school. I really wanted to leave the state by this time, but I didn’t want to leave the atmosphere of the church. I talked to my pastor about it, and he gave me the okay to leave, so I went to grad school in an entirely different state. I’m still not certain to this day what I would have done had he said that it wasn’t God’s will for me to leave. He also recommended a church to me that was in the area. Upon arriving, I tried the recommended church. I even joined it. But it was really different. My hometown church had just over 200 people, and I knew pretty much every one of them by name. This new church was a megachurch, with over 2,000 people per service, and the service was held three times. I never really got to know any of them. I was there for about six months before I decided it just really wasn’t for me.

Soon, I heard that some of my close friends from my hometown church had left the church. At that church, leaving was seen as absolutely wrong (hence my fear of what would happen if the pastor said I couldn’t leave.) We were always taught, “Don’t rise up and go, be trained up and sent.” Well, the church saw them as rise-up-and-goers. But I believed that they simply wanted to try a different church. That’s when I began to see behind the veil of the fundamentalist movement. I learned that the pastor had sucked money out of his people for “God-inspired” projects, only to later say that he had “missed God in the timing.” You could get your money back, but only if you could prove exactly how much you had given. That was incredibly hard, seeing as how it was collected in cash almost exclusively. And besides, he had owned up to the mistake and he would put the money to good use elsewhere, right? That’s what the church believed, but I began to see differently. The leaving friends were socially outcast from the church. I learned a lot about their personal research on cults. I don’t believe that I can really call that church a cult in the purest sense of the word, but it definitely has cultish elements.

I had also convinced myself that the teachings of this church were right, over all other ways the Bible could be interpreted. Many of the internal contradictions were elegantly resolved by a simple explanation from the pastor. Upon learning that this church was a fraud, it wasn’t too long before I began to doubt that the Bible was true at all. I began to really think about some of the oddities in the Bible.

For example, back to circumcision. Why is it that God had this be a command in the first place? Why did he create this piece of skin, only to require that it be removed? There is absolutely no medical benefit to this procedure, so why require it? Seems like an odd way to manifest a covenant, especially since only men can participate in it. Doesn’t God love us all equally, men and women alike? God isn’t a respecter of persons, right (Romans 2:11)? And God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, right (Hebrews 13:8)?

For that matter, why is it that God seemed to change so drastically between the Old and New Testament? Lewis Black, the stand-up comedian, addressed this very point humorously, but quite accurately. God in the New Testament is awesome, but God in the Old Testament is spiteful and wrathful, smiting all sorts of people. But how can God be no respecter of persons if the Jews are his “chosen people?” How can a loving God burn people’s houses to the ground?

Other aspects of the law began to bother me. Why is it that God created pigs, but made it his law not to eat them? I convinced myself that there was some medical reason why Jews couldn’t eat pork at the time, like they didn’t know how to prepare it. But a Messianic Jewish friend of mine told me, “Pork is easy to prepare, just like every other piece of meat—put it over a fire until it turns black and eat it!” Yup, that sounds about right. His explanation was that it was required to show obedience to God, but that made no sense to me. Wasn’t the fact that a man had clipped one of his most precious body parts enough of a sign of obedience? And how could God change this sign so drastically, from all these strange rules, to just the one rule of accept Jesus as lord, and you’re done?

Now questions continue to spiral around in my head, none of which have good, clear answers from the Christian perspective. But stepping out of that role, the questions all have a very clear answer. The Bible isn’t the word of an all-knowing God. If we start from that assumption, then it all makes sense. There is a shift in personalities because that’s how different authors of different books at different times perceived this deity. These rules were simply made up to require obedience to other men.

I still don’t know entirely what I believe, except to say that I’m almost entirely sure I’m not a Christian. I say almost because I still have that lingering fear of being wrong. And of course the fear of being wrong brings with it, ultimately, the fear of hell. But, what about hell? I find it most fascinating that the biggest description of why we should fear hell is because it is a place of eternal torment, that is, pain. Medical science has shown, however, that pain is a mental response to a physical stimulation. If we don’t have a body in hell, how are we supposed to feel pain? Once I realized that, I became a lot less scared of it. The arguments for why I don’t want to be there sort of fell apart. The only one left would be eternal separation from God. But I’ve been praying recently, for the past few months, that God reveal himself to me. Whether it be Christianity or some other religion, I have asked for some sign, any sign, that I am supposed to follow God. And I’ve had no answer. So God, I’ve asked, I’ve sought, and I’ve knocked, but there has been no answer, contrary to Matthew 7:7 and Luke 11:9. If one day I am judged and told that I didn’t follow Jesus, I have two responses: a) yes I did, and it brought me nothing but regret, and b) I did exactly what the Bible says in a time of doubt (e.g., James 1:5, I lacked wisdom and I asked for it) but I got no answer. Why does Paul get a major sign of being knocked off his horse and taught the mysteries of God, when I get absolutely nothing, if God is no respecter of persons? Even if I lose some blessing, I want the same right as Timothy, who got to put his fingers into Jesus’s hands and side, if God is no respecter of persons. I’d rather miss out on the “blessing” of those who have not seen (John 20:26–29) than commit myself any further to something that makes so little sense.

I’m not certain whether or not there is a God. I have been studying evolution recently, and find it fascinating. It’s interesting to study it without a preconceived bias that there’s no possible way it’s true. I learned about genetic algorithms in engineering, and, lo and behold, evolution works on a computer model. That didn’t entirely convince me that it could work in biology, but I’m becoming more convinced every day. I’m still interested in the “beginning” and I’m agnostic as to whether it was truly caused by the big bang or by some divine creator. That had always been my major hang-up on evolution; while I could see it as possible once life began, it makes so little sense to me how life can just suddenly start without some other life.

Pascal’s wager was also interesting to me. I read on someone’s testimonial, or somewhere (and I apologize for not being able to give proper credit) that, while Pascal’s wager may be all well and good, why does it necessarily lead to the Christian God? Wouldn’t it apply to every possible deity out there?

There’s much more to my story, many more regrets, but I’ve rambled on long enough. In closing, thank you to everyone who has read this whole story. I’m sorry I rambled on so long. Thank you to those of you brave enough to post your stories as well. Your stories are inspiring and helpful. I’m sorry to my friends and family, especially those of you I abandoned to be at church. I did that often while I was there, and it was absolutely wrong of me. I’m sorry to those of you outside the church who I hurt by condemning you or, even worse, by leading you into Christianity. I’m sorry to those of you who were in the church while I was, who I condemned when you did something that was wrong in the church’s eyes.

Most importantly, to you who are in Christianity, or thinking about entering it, let me tell you that, looking back on my life, almost every regret I have is somehow affiliated with a decision I made based on my beliefs in the Bible and Christianity. Don’t waste away in a church that does nothing but help out its leadership, get out there and do what you want to do, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the rights of another. The founding fathers of America described, succinctly, the rights of an individual as the rights to life, liberty, and property (our past, present, and future), and so long as you respect those rights of everyone around you, you can be a moral person outside of a book that was compiled almost two millennia ago.

With all due respect.



By Pat Condell

Sent in by Tina

I've struggled with faith my entire life, and now I truly believe that religions were established so power mongers could control and oppress people (especially women).

My late mother walked away from her church as a teenager and never looked back. She was still very much a believer in the bible but did not believe in the trinity theory that so many Christian churches teach. She did encourage her children to go to different churches with friends and decide for ourselves what we wanted to believe. As a youngster I frequented Catholic, Baptist and Methodist churches and even visited a synagogue once.

My mom spent years studying the Bible on her own and obeying all of the “rules." Virgin until she married, never cheated on my dad (and he probably cheated on her), gave birth to children she really did not want and tried to live by the rules spoon fed to us by our Christian based society.

What did my mom get in the end? A miserable and slow death from cancer (dying that way was her biggest fear). She fought it for 5 years and suffered so much on and off through those years. I loved my mom so very much; she was the only thing in this world that I had any faith in. If her God does exist then I hate him/her/it/whatever for making her suffer in the way she feared most.

I have done some bad things in my life, but I look at those as crimes committed against self and other humans, not crimes committed against some god. A Christian friend once told me to confess my sins and beg forgiveness so I can be saved. Forgiveness for what? For being human? Saved from what? From being able to think for myself?

I have asked for forgiveness for my past transgressions but I only ask it of myself and of those I have wronged. I will now try to move forward and be a better person for myself and those who love me, not for some imaginary god.

Why do we need the fear of an invisible god or a place like hell to love and respect one another? This is a question I ask of Christians all the time and cannot get a straight answer.

I find it hard to believe that a god would let billions of people (especially children) suffer so some prophecy can be fulfilled. I find it hard to believe that if I do some bad things in an estimated 75 years of life that I will be condemned to burn in some hellfire for eternity (that does not seem fair).

I see good people who have bad things regularly happen to them and I see bad people who have everything go their way. I am guessing all of those good people are required to wait until after death to receive good things. Total BS in my book!

I used to blame myself for bad things that happened to me and those around me. I thought it was my fault because of my “sins.” Finally I realized that all things, good and bad, are just part of the cards that life deals to you. Sometimes we are dealt good hands and other times not so good hands. It is all about choices, coincidence, luck, timing and sometimes just plain hard work.

If there is a god who will make countless people suffer (including his own son) to fulfill some prophecy, then I want no part of it. If this god loves us so much and is so powerful then why subject the innocent to unspeakable cruelties?

I was once told that god is supposed to know the good people from the bad people before they are even born. Why is this god allowing the bad people to be born? Is the purpose of the bad people to tempt the good people? Does this god need to prove to some other being (Satan) that it is superior because its followers will resist temptation? To me it just sounds like some sadistic chess game in which humans are used as the game pieces.

I was insulted and hurt when my boyfriend recently said “there is nothing wrong with believing and having values.” I pretty much took that as him telling me that I have no values because I don’t believe in something that is nothing more than a fairy tale. I am now reassessing my relationship with him because of that statement. One can develop values without joining a cult (I believe all religions are cults) and one can have values without believing in an invisible being in the sky.

I have so much more to say but don’t want to bore everyone. I feel so much better just typing this. Hopefully it will help me get over the anger and depression about my mother’s death and allow me to move on with the remainder of my life.

I am so glad I found this site!

Bill Maher asks Arkansas Senator Mark Pryor whether or not he believes in evolution.

This is a clip from the movie Religulous

Religulous is a documentary directed by Larry Charles and starring American comedian Bill Maher, host of Real Time With Bill Maher on HBO. According to Maher, the title of the film is a portmanteau derived from the words "religion" and "ridiculous," implying the satirical nature of the documentary that is meant to mock the concept of organized religion and the problems it brings about.

Religulous is scheduled for release on October 3, 2008

Pastor Michael Guglielmucci spun gospel of lies

HE preached to thousands about his terminal illness and tugged at hearts with a hit song.

The problem is, the pastor wasn't dying at all.

Michael Guglielmucci, who inspired hundreds of thousands of young Christians with his terminal cancer "battle", has been exposed as a fraud.

Guglielmucci, whose parents established Edge Church International, an Assemblies of God church at O'Halloran Hill in Adelaide's southern suburbs, now is seeking professional help.

Earlier this year, Mr Guglielmucci released a hit song, Healer, which was featured on Sydney church Hillsong's latest album.

The song debuted at No. 2 on the ARIA charts.

It since has become an anthem of faith for believers, many of whom are suffering their own illness and were praying for a miracle for Mr Guglielmucci, who has claimed for two years to be terminally ill.

In one church performance that has attracted 300,000 hits on YouTube, he performs his hit song with an oxygen tube in his nose.

It appears Mr Guglielmucci, who was a pastor with one of Australia's biggest youth churches, Planetshakers, may even have deceived his own family.

Pastor told congregation he had cancer
Recorded hit song Healer to inspire people
He's a fraud "This news has come as a great shock to everyone including, it seems, his own wife and family," Hillsong general manager George Aghajanian said in an email to his congregation yesterday.

"Michael has confirmed that he is not suffering with a terminal illness and is seeking professional help in Adelaide with the support of his family. We are asking our church to pray for the Guglielmucci family during this difficult time."

The Australian Christian Church said Mr Guglielmucci's credentials immediately were suspended once he told the national executive that his cancer claims were "untrue".

"The national executive is taking this matter very seriously and is awaiting the results of medical tests before determining the full extent of the discipline that will be imposed upon him," vice president Alun Davies said.

"We are very concerned for the many people who have been or will be hurt by Michael's actions.

"We encourage all of our churches to pray for all those affected."

STORY LINK



PASTOR Michael Guglielmucci has been told by church officials to report to police, who will investigate what has happened to money raised during his cancer deception.

The Australian Christian Churches told The Advertiser yesterday that it was auditing Mr Guglielmucci's bank accounts, which included money donated from people touched by his hit song Healer.

Mr Guglielmucci confessed his two-year fraudulent cancer battle at a national executive meeting of the ACC on Saturday, and was stripped of his credentials.

Edge Church International's executive pastor Jonathan Fontanarosa said Mr Guglielmucci had "made it clear that he is not sick".

"But we're waiting on further investigation to find out the full truth," he said. "The church is in shock . . . we were totally unaware of the situation."

It was decided at Saturday's meeting that a statement would be read on Mr Guglielmucci's behalf at churches around Australia this Sunday.

But an email sent on Wednesday from Sydney's Hillsong Church detailing the hoax was obtained by The Advertiser.

It also said Mr Guglielmucci's wife and family were unaware of the deception. The Melbourne-based preacher is in Adelaide, but has gone to ground.

His parents, who founded Edge Church International, an Assemblies of God church at Reynella, are assisting him while he seeks professional help.

The ACC has promised that all money raised deceptively will be returned or donated to charity.

The Assemblies of God, Australia's largest Pentecostal movement, adopted its new name of Australian Christian Churches in 2007.

The former pastor with one of Australia's biggest youth churches, Planetshakers, inspired hundreds of thousands of young Christians around the world as he performed with an oxygen tube in his nose.

Healer became an anthem of faith for believers, many of whom are suffering illnesses and were praying for Mr Guglielmucci.

The song, featured on Hillsong's latest album, debuted at No. 2 on the ARIA charts.

In a YouTube video, (no longer available) he tells how the news from the hospital that he had "quite an aggressive form of cancer" inspired his song. "I just went home. I knew I had to go home and needed to get alone with God," he says in the video.

"I walked into my studio at home and for some reason. . . I sat at a piano and began to worship.

"I sang that song from start to finish. I was crying. I just realised that God had given me an incredible gift and I realise that song was going to be my strength."

Church community sources said Mr Guglielmucci attended his medical appointments alone.

A scheduled appearance by him at Rod Laver Arena in Melbourne this weekend has been cancelled.

While many in the church were embarrassed by the betrayal, others showed support on Facebook, where a page titled "We are STILL praying for you Mike Guglielmucci" was set up yesterday.

STORY LINK

From Wikipedia:

On August 21, 2008, Michael Guglielmucci, the composer of the track Healer from the album Saviour of the World and a former pastor of Planetshakers City Church, announced that, contrary to his earlier statments, he had not suffered from cancer during the previous two years. He also stated that close friends, family, and even his wife didn't know. Planetshakers City Church pastors, as well as Hillsong Church (where Michael was serving in the music ministry), released communications to church members confirming this.[3]

In an email sent to the Planetshakers City Church congregation, Russell & Sam Evans wrote:

It is with great sadness that we send you this email. We wanted to tell you all in person but because others were being informed outside our church we felt it necessary to send you this correspondence. Michael Guglielmucci has informed us that he does not suffer from cancer, was never diagnosed with cancer, and has never suffered from the disease. This admission has come as a great shock to everyone including his Wife and family who had no knowledge of the matter. We know this will shock and hurt many of you and we offer you our support and prayers. Our pastoral team will be available to offer any assistance in regard to this situation. We are all saddened by this revelation and our prayers are with the Guglielmucci family. We would encourage you to take this situation to the Lord in prayer responding out of a heart of love, grace and truth. While it is difficult for all of us to understand why this happened we would encourage you all to a closer personal walk with our Lord Jesus.

POWDER SPRINGS, Ga -- Her job was to teach children the Christian way of life. Now she is charged with what her church might consider the ultimate sin. Twenty-four year old Holly Barnes, a teacher at Grace Baptist Church Christian School in Powder Springs, is accused of having sex with a child.

The Paulding County Sheriff Office is investigating the charges against Barnes. Investigators say they are concerned there may be more victims. The arrest of a teacher came as a shock to members of the church who picked up their kids from school Wednesday afternoon.

"Anytime anything like that happens it always concerns you," said David Collins who was picking up his grandchild.

A woman who said her name was "Miss Birdsong' said "As a Christian, we need to just pray for her and that's what I'll do."

Barnes was charged Tuesday with two counts of statutory rape and two counts of child molestation for having sex with a 14-year old boy. Paulding County investigators are saying very little about the investigation because of its delicate nature. They did say that both the suspect Holly Barnes, and the victim, the 14-year-old boy, were affiliated with the church and school. Barnes is a teacher.

"I don't have the details as far as if it was a teacher-student relationship or anything like that," said Paulding County Sheriff Corporal Brandon Gurley.

Barnes is charged with having sex with the boy on two separate occasions in Paulding County. The church is in Cobb County near the Paulding County line. Corporal Gurley said the sexual acts took place in Paulding County, not at the church. Because of her position with the church they are concerned.

"Anytime we have an individual that is in contact with children and they are accused of having inappropriate contact or relations with children that automatically throws up a red flag," said Corporal Gurley.

Barnes is being held on $11,000 bond in the Paulding County jail. She was terminated from her teaching job at the church. Grace Baptist Church referred questions about Barne's role at the church to their Pastor Dr. Ken Martin. He has not answered repeated attempts to contact him.

STORY LINK

Sent in by Michael

I write this mostly as catharsis, not as a call to action or as a convincing case against Christianity. As I think more and more about it, I have come to realize that my life is far more valuable than I let it on to be, and that my deconversion a year and a half ago only opened me up to far more than I had ever experienced.

I was raised Catholic, in a family where religion was far less about belief and far more about heritage. Talk of God or Jesus was rare in my household, though my family attended Sunday masses as frequently as possible and my father taught catechism, leading untold numbers of children into the "fold" which most did not seem to care about anyway. I remember Mass as something very boring and monotonous, so I attempted to make the best of it, letting my imagination run wild by thinking up little stories about all the different things I saw around me, trying to visualize the events occurring in the stained glass windows and the meaning of the strange, arcane symbols that abounded. It was a time when I got to exercise my mind, with everything about God and Christianity taking a backseat. I never saw it as important. Good was good and bad was bad. Why suffer through an hour of hymns and speeches for that?

I would occasionally think of my religion outside of church, though mostly in the context of odd questions which I had dreamed up. My first one was pretty standard: Why the hell was God turning people into pillars of salt and torching cities in the Old Testament, then playing the nice guy in the New Testament? Nothing would go answered, since to me it was all idle musing. Catechism was no different. I'd learn of church doctrine and the sacraments, but most of the time I'd simply misbehave out of boredom and rebellion (and a rather serious case of ADHD which I have been struggling with for a long time). All in all, my faith was something that was never something to be taken seriously.

That all changed when, during one class, I saw a video depicting the physical nature of the crucifixion, describing in detail all of the horrible pain that Jesus endured. I still remember the description of the brutal lashings with barbel-shaped flogs, which would tear out hunks of skin, and the nails going through the bones of the hands and piercing nerves. There were no visuals of violence, but the general mood it set was enough to unnerve me, deeply affecting me and turning a once misbehaved boy into something of a believer, though this was really only for my own benefit, fueled by my own fears. I attended church regularly and dragged my parents to the front row, went to confession frequently, and tried to be good. Of course, by the average conservative Christian's standards, I was little more than a poser, but I sincerely believed that I was in with God, and at this point, I tried feeling his presence a bit more than I was. This was all when I was eleven.

Of course, I knew I was not perfect, but I figured that nobody was, and that fundamentalists were simply overzealous, angry people who hated themselves just as much as they hated sin. Still, religion did not tend to cross my mind a lot, just every once in a while when it came up. It was never a big deal until I began having doubts in high school. I was practically a social outcast due to my eccentricities and overall inability to fit in, and had very few friends. As I continued through school, I became more and more associated with a few close circles of people, and met my best friend during finals in my freshman year. He was, at the time, a die hard atheist and political junkie. I remember telling him that I was a "Da Vinci Code Catholic," somebody who accepts more liberal teachings and was inclusive, but pious nonetheless. Of course, we had our little philosophical discussions, and by the time I was a junior, I was sliding into deism, though I still did not have much knowledge compared to now, and was only slightly less ignorant than most of my peers.

As a senior, my social life suddenly bloomed, and I was with a great deal of people of various religious persuasions. I was also an agnostic, of sorts, shifting back and forth between that and deism, considering that the fear of Hell was still fresh in my mind and unconsciously driving my actions. I also felt that I needed prayer as an outlet to relieve my tension, a purpose it had always served. It was stress relief. Toward the middle of the year, I was beginning to read material by Sam Harris, and my favorite book, "Letter to a Christian Nation," finally put me over the edge. I was an atheist by then, after finally deciding that I was simply splitting hairs in calling myself an agnostic purely out of a philosophical need for consistency (my 1% chance that I was wrong). Around this time, I was a lot more vocal and outspoken (though I already was as a political anarchist), and began educating myself a lot more in religion and theology. Though it was not a complete understanding, I considered it sufficient for the average layperson to justify and defend his lack of belief. It was very refreshing to be free of Christianity and to have a new worldview.

This is only half the story, though, because my life never really took many dramatic turns for the better or worse until after I was an atheist, and after I fully understood most of the things that I was saying. I struggled with a fear of my own mortality for a little while, until this was finally reconciled by my own
realization that death was not something to fear, just as I should not look upon the time before my birth as being full of terror and pain. It was ludicrous to even consider death to be something to fear. Things were fine for a bit, and I thought that I had reached the sum total of my quest for religious understanding. Then I lost it. I met a girl, and though she was not my first or most significant relationship to date, the sudden breakup was enough to set me down a bad path. I suddenly realized that I was not a good person, the kind I claimed to be, and that I generally did not want to see the world in a positive light. I never did. I had always been a defeatist, pessimistic, cynical doubter, and I began to seek out a good outlet. For a period of time I had flirted with the possibility of joining the Church of Satan, and I was probably one of the few people I knew who took their beliefs seriously. I soon discarded this in favor of other concepts, original ones that the church drew inspiration from, cynical, angry, iconoclastic voices such as Nietzsche and Schopenhauer. All through my first year of college, I was slowly losing my mind and composure. Being thrown into a new situation gave me a serious kick, and I began having doubts about atheism, studying Christian apologetics and trying in vain every once in a while to be "saved" in a dramatic fashion.

I never fell to the ground weeping and wailing, and so I assumed that my sincere experiments were for naught. I assumed that I simply had to endure what I was beginning to see as an absurd cycle of sporadic ups and frequent downs, with mediocrity filling the spaces in between.

During this time, I developed a very strong hatred for Christianity as well, seeing it mostly as a group of smug individuals who wanted nothing but to boast of their own happiness. It made me angry that I could not reach their level of bliss. I fell for another girl that a friend of mine had introduced me to earlier that year, and spent a week in perpetual happiness, more vibrant and positive than anything I had ever experienced. A week after we met, I lost my virginity to her in what was quite possibly the greatest hour and fifteen minutes of my life, and she broke up with me the same day, leaving me broken, angry, and more depressed than ever. Soon, I turned to moral nihilism, which I saw as an accurate reflection of my views on the world. Life was meaningless and pointless, engineered as a placebo to dupe the weak-minded into thinking otherwise. I became more conservative and at one point was ready to call myself a Social Darwinist. I just wanted to burn the world clean of everyone and everything, and with that emotiveness, my humanism embraced as a high school senior mutated into a twisted misanthropy, fueled by the writings of the most misanthropic, bleak people I could find (Google "Pentti Linkola" and "Boyd Rice" to know what I mean). I also dabbled in Hermetics and considered ritual magick, though I quickly dropped this as soon as I realized that it was ridiculous, and that it would no more aid in expanding my locus of control than getting on my knees and praying for Jesus to "save" me.

I had friends, family, and very good grades, as I have always had, but I lacked meaning and direction, and I felt incapable of creating it without some guiding force. I suddenly realized that without theism, I was a fish out of water.

That was fairly recent, and at the moment I am still somewhat rattled by my own emotional distress, my loneliness, and my sense of alienation and self-doubt. It never arose from religion, but my beliefs have changed to reflect my own life and it's struggles. Now, I'm drifting from my previous, deep-seated anger with the world
and attempting to embrace a more positive outlook. I have always seen the concept of the ubermensch to be rather silly, but still metaphorically powerful, and I remain very much inspired by Nietzsche's overarching philosophy. I have also become close to nature in the intervening time between then and now, which I can attribute just as much to my desire for solitude to clear my mind as I can to my passion for black metal and folk music, two genres which I see as very misunderstood, but very powerful and meaningful to the open listener. I can still remember my time in the nature preserve of my university, listening to Drudkh and Burzum on my MP3 player as I and looked out at the expansive forests in awe. I have decided since then to pursue my interest in ancient European folklore and culture, and to major in anthropology. As of now, though, I am still changing, and I still feel as though I have a lot of growing up to do, so as of now, most everything I believe is tentative.

Religion never ruled me, it never broke me. It never made me do things that affected me so deeply that I had to scorn it for its damage to my mind. I was never exploited due to an outdated, fanatical belief system, but I have found that I have for a long time had tacit control over what I had believed, mimicking my internalized feelings externally in expressing my fear, desperation, isolation, anger, and self-hatred. At no point was I truly a "free thinker," unshackled from dogma, as I had promptly fettered myself in my own chains. If anything, my beliefs
had been an outlet for my own frustrations with myself and others. Still, I see a valid lesson in my journey, which happened almost exclusively within my own mind, defined better with feeling than experiences with others.

Humans are mentally powerful, passionate creatures, who have the capability to create and destroy with their ideas alone. If properly channeled by a sufficiently disturbed person, an extremist idea can turn deadly. This is a question of understanding the religious mindset, of knowing what makes people tick, of crawling into the heads of believers and nonbelievers alike and attempting to understand why people take positions. It is, in a way, a roundabout message stressing empathy, of understanding that behind an ardent fundamentalist might be a confused, angry, emotionally drained person, struggling to understand life just as much as some of us do.

Sent in by Tressa

My dad was born to a Jewish father and a Protestant mother. They raised him to have a marginal belief in a monotheistic, omnipotent God and the existence of an afterlife, but other than that, for the purpose of compromise, he was not brought up under any definite religious doctrine. To this day, my dad holds vaguely deist beliefs, but is fairly distrustful of organized religion. My mom was born to a devout Anglican mother and a Seventh-Day Adventist father; keep in mind that in these days, the Adventist church was not as well-integrated into mainstream society as it is today, and was still quite a bizarre Christian offshoot along the lines of the Jehovah's Witnesses. My mom was baptized Anglican but raised in the United Church of Canada, as it was the dominant religious institution in the small Ontario town her family eventually moved to.

The United Church of Canada is a uniquely Canadian institution. Despite technically being founded as an evangelical Protestant denomination, it has always been fairly mainline to liberal in its theological teachings; that said, its members come from all across the spectrum of Christian thought, so it is still prone to plenty of spats and threatened ruptures, sort of like the Anglican Church. And just like the Anglican Church in England, it has historically been the dominant Protestant church in Canada, and throughout the years has had quite a strong impact on Canadian culture and politics.

Like most children growing up in small towns in the 1950s and 60s, my mom was deeply involved with her local church, very keen on her religion, and still looks back on the experience fondly. However, for reasons unknown to me, she became less interested in organized religion as soon as she left home to attend university, and stopped going to church. When I was born, she did not even want to have me baptized, but was pressured into it by her family. I was baptized into the United Church as an infant.

Though I was raised with very basic Christian beliefs ("God loves you and you'll go to Heaven when you die"), my family was not devoutly religious; we were the typical "Easter-and-Christmas-only" church-goers. My first major exposure to religion was when I was hospitalized for pneumonia for an extended period as a seven year-old. I was watching the bedside TV when The Ten Commandments film came on. I was quite enthralled with this tale of plagues and rivers turning to blood, and I asked an attending nurse about it. She was horrified that I thought it was just another fantasy movie and did not recognize it as a Biblical story. She returned the next day and presented a Gideon Bible to me. I was a voracious reader as a child and, due to the blandness of my hospital stay, wound up reading the entire thing cover-to-cover. I cannot understate that it absolutely terrified me. God seemed like a psychopathic tyrant who would horrifically murder you for the slightest misstep, and since my parents had told me that this was all true, I was sure that it had all really happened and that God would get around to wiping me out any day now. I can't remember how my parents managed to calm me down about Christianity after that.

My lazy Christian existence came to a screeching halt when my mom's mother passed away. In her grief, she ran back to religion, and we were suddenly attending services every Sunday and becoming active members of the church community. I was now signed up for Sunday school, studying the Bible, and participating in church youth group activities left and right. My Sunday school teacher/youth group leader was an ex-Catholic who had only left the church because he married a Protestant and didn't want to upset her by giving into church pressure to baptize his kids Catholic. He always wanted to be "down" with the kids, so we would watch movies, eat ice cream, play sports, or go bowling, but with long discussions on Jesus worked in. Of course, his Catholic leanings were prone to slipping into lessons, like a fixation on sexual prohibitions. We were always being lectured on the evils of birth control and abortion, or how only sluts get HIV and/or unwanted teen pregnancies. I remember this one time, he was giving the lesson on how we are all sinners in the eyes of God. His example was "You might think that most of God's laws don't apply to you, but they do. For example, look at the incest prohibition. You might think 'That's gross, I would never break that', but then, remember that hot cousin you're always fantasizing about..." That was one of the first times I ever thought "Man, Christians are kind of messed up." (This was before Arrested Development too!) I was not much of a fan of participating in these youth church activities, because my peers were your typical cliquey, "holier-than-thou" bunch who had known each other since they were infants, and as both a latecomer and not the world's most devout Christian, they were just not interested in socializing with me.

I became an atheist as a 13-year-old, pretty much just on the spur of the moment. I was reading through the Bible and it just hit me that none of this really made sense based on what I was being taught about science in school. Additionally, though the church tried to moderate its beliefs, the Bible itself was too vicious a book for me; I had friends from many religious backgrounds and could not buy into the idea that they were all destined for Hell just because they were born into a different culture than me. I informed my parents of my newfound opinion on religion, and my mom proceeded to flip out and lecture me on how atheism was a symptom of selfishness, that atheists were all bitter, emotionally unfulfilled people with massive personal problems who wanted to wipe out everyone else's religion, that I was threatening her own shot at Heaven with these beliefs, and that I was too young to know anything about religion and would eventually come crawling back to Christianity. I stood my ground and told her that this was not just some little teen rebellion stunt; I had come to understand on my own that Christianity was not compatible with what I knew about science and, though the Bible did say some good things, when taken as a whole, its overarching message ran contrary to my own worldview.

I refused to continue attending church, and on the odd time that I was forced to go, I would just sit passively in on the sermon and avoid the Sunday school lesson. My mom was particularly outraged because I was only a year away from confirmation, and she was insistent that I needed to get confirmed regardless of my own personal beliefs. I was sure that I would be forced to go through with it, but luckily she eventually gave up on me and I was able to wiggle out of going to church forever.

In particular, I'm really glad that I got out of organized religion before I fully comprehended that I was gay, because I think it would have been too much for me otherwise. I remember that one of our junior youth group leaders was a beautiful young woman who I could not stop having "unholy" thoughts about! (In my defense, she was gorgeous, so I'm sure I wasn't the only one.) Despite my atheism, I still had to spend many years working through a lot of inner guilt thanks to all of the unnecessary sexual hang-ups I had beaten into me by Sunday school. It's been seven years since I became an atheist (I'm now 20), and I have never even once regretted leaving Christianity. I feel a newfound sense of privacy and freedom, since I no longer have to worry about some sky-being judging my every little thought, and I'm able to devise my own ethics based on logic and reason. Though I've since extensively researched world religions, I could never return to being religious, even if I tried with all of my might, because I find that once you leave (and read up on all the relevant science), it's near-impossible to ever mentally "buy in" again.

P.S. I didn't know where to cram this in to my story, but one of the most hilarious church moments that I ever experienced was when the minister gave a sermon in which he recounted a "harrowing" incident in which he had seen some vicious-looking goth teenagers coming down the street towards him and had raced the other way! Since I lived in the most bland, white suburb ever, I just had this visual of this 50 year-old man spotting a bunch of awkward 15 year-olds in ill-fitting Slipknot hoodies and their moms' black eyeliner, and still being terrified out of his mind and having to run off like a scared child.

Katy Perry's Evangelical Parents Call Hit Song 'Shameful'

Oh, to be a fly on the wall at the Perry house this holiday season.

The evangelical parents of chart-topping singer Katy Perry have condemned their daughter's hit song "I Kissed a Girl" and are blaming the big city lights of Los Angeles for steering their little girl away from gospel music in favor of sex innuendo-laden pop.

"I hate the song," Perry's mother, Mary Hudson, is quoted by Daily Record. "It clearly promotes homosexuality and its message is shameful and disgusting. Katy knows how I feel. We are a very outspoken family."

Hudson, a pastor, said she was in "total shock" after hearing the song for the first time. "When it comes on the radio I bow my head and pray."

"I Kissed a Girl" is the second single from Perry's album "One of the Boys." Perry has said that the song is "about the magical beauty of a woman."

Her career kicked off in 2001 back when she was a Christian pop singer going by her real name, Katy Hudson. Her mom believes Katy "started to change" after traveling from their home in Santa Barbara to LA to meet with a producer.

"I was worried she'd start doing drugs and drinking alcohol. I still am. I spoke to her only recently. She said, 'I'm not going to turn into Amy Winehouse.'"

Perry's father is also a pastor, and he is said to have had "words" with his daughter about her skimpy outfits.

The parents obviously "cannot cut her out" of their lives, but Perry "knows we disagree strongly with what she is doing and the message she is promoting regarding homosexuality which the Bible clearly states is a sin."

"But the Bible also promotes understanding and forgiveness, which I keep reminding myself."

STORY LINK

MABANK — First Baptist Church of Mabank youth minister Joshua Neal Ponder, 32, was arrested Aug. 13, for sexual assault of a teenager.

Mabank Police Chief Kyle McAfee said Ponder confessed to charges related to a 16-year-old male victim.

The assault allegedly occurred April 8 but was not reported until Aug. 8, according to reports.

The teenager is not a member of the church.

The Rev. Brent Tucker of First Baptist Church of Mabank, Chairman of the Deacons Randy Teague and Minister of Music Chris Sweet conducted a press conference at the church Thursday. The three released a statement on behalf of the church.

“We are deeply saddened by the circumstances that involve Josh Ponder prior to and during his employment at FBC Mabank,” the statement read. “We lift up in prayer his family and those who have been affected. The FBC Mabank does not condone these alleged actions. ...

“We have accepted the resignation of Ponder effective Aug. 14. We are in prayer for our youth and their parents at this time.”

Prior to his stint in Mabank, Ponder served as youth minister at First Baptist Church of Palestine from June 2001 to May 2007.

The Rev. Jay Abernathy, pastor of First Baptist Church of Palestine, was notified of Ponder’s arrest late last week and said the church would cooperate with police in the investigation, if asked.

“We are shocked and saddened by this incident, and are praying for everyone involved,” Abernathy said Monday afternoon. “We have made counselors available to our youth and families who may be hurting and will be available to anyone in our church and community who wants to talk.

“We are working to respond to everyone hurt by this.”

Representing the Palestine church’s deacon ministry board, Steve Jenkins mirrored Rev. Abernathy’s sentiments in a statement made by phone Monday.

“As a church, we are saddened by the news of (Josh’s) arrest,” Jenkins said. “We are thankful for the prompt response of the Mabank Police Department and will assist them in any way possible to see that justice is served.

“We respect the need for privacy and healing in the lives of those affected and pray that others will also.”

Ponder remains in the Kaufman County Law Enforcement Center charged with sexual assault of a child. Bail has been set at $200,000.

Mabank police are investigating possible instances of improper contact with other victims.

STORY LINK

Part I:


Part II:


This is a round-table interview with John W. Loftus author of "Why I Became an Atheist: A Former Preacher Rejects Christianity." John is the founder of Debunking Christianity. Robert M. Price talks about his book "Top Secret: The Truth about Today's Pop Mysticisms." Robert is also author of "The Reason Driven Life," and many other greats.

Discussion topics here include: the New Atheists, family values of Jesus, prosperity gospel, Joel Osteen, Creation museums, New Thought, New Age movements, Oprah, Genesis, modern science, etc.

Part one is approximately 90 minutes long. Part two is 30 min.

Sent in by Ian

I wish to post my testimony for a few reasons.

For one, I hope that just one person gets a bit of help from this. I've been so encouraged by this site and others like it that I felt moved to help in the only way I know how. Second, I want it known that I am a new person. I'm not the Christian that I once was. I'm not that judgmental, closed-minded conservative that worries about every action and is ruled entirely by guilt and false obligation. Anyway, it turns out that I even like myself.

Who am I? I'm one that was raised in Christianity. I probably have a more extreme background in it than most Christians, I admit. I'm about 32 years old and couldn't understand that somebody on an atheist blog wouldn't know what "equally yoked" meant. I am an atheist/agnostic/oh, I don't know what I am--but I'm entirely comfortable with "I don't know" as my status. What I do know is that Christianity is not true. I regret my trip through Christianity and I wish to apologize to those that I led to it. It is at best a nice tradition and at worst a brainwashing and damaging experience.

Christian readers--I know I've likely angered you or inspired your sense of compassion somehow. That is okay--I'm going to tell you where the point of brainwashing occurred in my life and how the church controlled ME and most of the people that I knew. Does this ring of any truth?

First, the reason for doubt: The further I dug into the bible and Christianity in order to get to know it and in order to be able to argue FOR it in any situation, the less I was able to seriously admit that I believed it. Every hard issue came down to a non argument. I heard "it is a heart issue" and "you have to have faith" way too much. Didn't they keep telling me that God created us to be in the image of God and therefor logical? Why doesn't this make sense then?

Then the inconsistencies began to pop up--when the bible should be theoretical versus true. New Testament vs Old Testament arguments started to become really weak. Why would God have two different rules for us as humans (pre and post Jesus)? How about the flood? Did God not see that all of that coming? If God set the world to be perfect but Adam and Eve screwed it all up, then I guess I'm not worshiping a very powerful god. I could list many more.

From there, I began to study the Bible itself--where it came from, its iterations, how it was selected and translated, torn and broken.

It doesn't look like what it did and when I asked the church elders why this is, they only answered, "yes it is different, and isn't it amazing that through all of that the Bible continues to translate to be perfect? It remains the infallible word of God." They didn't get it at all--and turned me off of Christianity forever.

It flooded in over the next couple of years. An epiphany here, a change in politics there. Soon I was reading things I would never read and saying things I would never say. I voted for a Democrat.

Don't get me wrong--I was and am damaged. I still have a natural reaction to WANT to argue with evolutionists even though I intellectually believe them to be right.. I saw somebody laying hands on another on TV and casting out in Jesus name and it made me weep because it made me realize how off I was and how normal I thought this was. I realized how much pain I actually brought on myself--but more importantly on my family and friends. I saw how I wasted my life and screwed up others'. You know, it took years before I could say "oh my god". I had never uttered those words in 27 or more years.

I became angry at Christians and everything related to them. This had an ill effect in my life and I had a hard time regaining my happiness. My family equated this to having lost my way, and it was spooky how right they were in a sense. I mean--my entire belief system just proved false. It was confusing.

So I stopped. I stopped it all. No praying, no going to church. I began to do what I found fun and fulfilling. I discovered so much about me--I'm not a stuffy jerk. I LIKE being by myself a lot. I enjoy the company of people who's views I disagree with. Diversity is fun and nice and people have a tendency to smile at you if you smile first. Fear of social situations have slowly gone away too! See, it turns out that once you stop fearing god or making a mistake, you stop feeling so much guilt, fear, and worry in every aspect of your life. Oh, don't get me wrong--guilt still rules me sometimes but it is better every day when I realize that I'm the only one keeping track.

It was that level of disconnection from Christianity that allowed me, though, to reach my deconversion moment. It was really set and sealed with one epiphany: I was brainwashed and I was afraid of my own thoughts. I'm serious.

Hear me out. Tell me...how do you control a person's actions most effectively? Well, control their thoughts. The Bible speaks in many places about God reading the thoughts of men. It speaks quite a bit about Jesus "having known the men's
thoughts". I was taught to pray silently. Why? Well, of course God could read my thoughts. Even Jesus said that adultery in your thoughts is just as bad as having committed it.

You don't want a rebellious child? Tell them that Jesus knows what they are THINKING about doing. Maybe you should also give them an example of stoning rebellious children somewhere in the old testament just for fun!!

Tell a child all of this as soon as they are able to understand. Once they accept that God knows their thoughts, try to tell them not to ever ever blaspheme against the holy spirit because it is a such an extremely horrible thing to do. Want to know what they are probably struggling with now? Probably, the poor child is screwing his face up trying to keep bad thoughts from slipping in. It happened to me....

For me, it was a constant struggle to control those thoughts. This continued (albeit with less and less admission) into adulthood! Even, as a child, when people thought I behaved well, Jesus and I knew better because I had already committed so many things in my mind! Better yet--when I inquired about this, I was taught that these were temptations. Those were "fleeting thoughts" that were placed there by Satan or a demon as a temptation to me. If I give into these, I allow them into my life. Now I was doubly scared because no matter how hard I prayed, God never took away these tempting thoughts. I didn't know that everybody was like this because everybody had their own natural, normal, conflicting, and analytical thoughts too. It progressed to sometimes being prayed for. At extreme times (but several nonetheless) somebody would want me to have demons or spirits cast out (further proving the inadequacy because you have to have done something to let that spirit into your life at some point in the first place).

At any rate, I came to know that I was, indeed, brainwashed to not allow my own thoughts to progress past anything that was indoctrinated into me. While I'm sure that those at the local churches (parents included) never intended anybody to be brainwashed--that just doesn't excuse the effects on my life.

Where do I stand now? Well, I can only be sure about today so today I will be happy. It is all fading and the real me has finally emerged. Truth does exist, but not in the form I once thought. It turns out that you just need to BE for it to come to you. Just be calm and know that Jesus Christ is not lord. Just as God changed Saul's name to Paul and Abram to Abraham, I am changing my name in the opposing manner to reflect me--the me that I actually like.

With pride, I introduce myself for the first time:

Your friend,

Ian

A meaningful dialog between Dinesh D'Souza, Christopher Hitchens, and Dennis Prager. The debate was held in the spring at the Bat Yahm Synagogue in Newport Beach, and the audience was predominantly Jewish, with a fair representation of Christians and atheists.

Video is approximately two hours in length.

Hi everyone!

I enjoy your site, especially the testimonies of others who've left Christianity like me. The ones that interest me most are ex-Christians who've joined other religious groups. So my question is: Are there any Bahais out there and what drew you into the Baha'i faith? I'm asking this question as I'm interested in the Baha'i faith and would like to touch base with other ex-Christians who've found more fulfillment among the Baha'i.

Thanks!